Words for my daughter

"Holy Clinging"

2011-06-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today I was on the telephone with my mother-in-law discussing my day and talking about my progression of this most recent "medical distraction." We discussed my upcoming follow up appointment tomorrow and all that is to follow. We discussed weather I should drive alone or if she should go with. Whether we should eat before, basically all of the fun little details. At the end of the conversation, I reminded her that I had my nine month Melanoma check up next week. She then asked if she should go with and I told her no, that I thought all would be well.

Actually, this is usually the time when I begin the self diagnosis process. Let me first clarify that I am always constantly checking and monitoring my moles. I have so many of them that it is no exaggeration to say that I am a walking mole. so when I say the self diagnosis process, I mean that I think all of my moles are Melanoma. While talking with my mother in law, I was thinking that. After hanging up with her, I was gently reminded of Psalm 63 "The Psalm of Holy Clinging".

I don't know how many actually read my blog, but those who do, do you know David from the Bible? If you do, what comes to your mind when you think of him? The first thing that comes to my mind is that he was a man after God's own heart. Isn't that awesome? How cool if after I die that I am described as a woman after God's heart. David was a sinner in the worst way, but make no mistake, he loved God with all of his heart, with all of his mind, and with all of his soul.

David wrote Psalm 63 because he needed to cling to God. Through his writings, his attitude began to change. Through his attitude change, he began the clinging process.

1. He longed for God

2. He found satisfaction in God

3. He had an intimate friendship with God

4. He had a desperate dependence on God.

How different would your life, would my life be if my attitude changed on those 4 attributes alone. If only, instead of me self diagnosing and thinking about the fact that I could possibly die from this cancer, instead, I would cling to the dependence of God. If only, instead of feeling the need to pick up the phone in a panic state and scare my Mom 1300 miles away who really can't do a thing about it, if only, I would desperately depend on God instead. If only, instead of going and feeling the need to spend money I didn't have today but instead found total satisfaction of God. If only, how different my life would be. If only, how much more of an impact for the Kingdom I could be.

If only, I didn't feel the need to think I was ugly having what I thought was pasty white skin and felt the need to jump in a tanning bed every single day in my 20's, instead longed to just be for my Maker.....

SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 when outdoors and seriously, re-apply every 30 minutes!! No joke, I got a little pink the other day! My derm is going to love me on Wednesday!!

Summertime=Summer Sun

2011-06-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

I am a Melanoma cancer patient/survivor. I wear this title proud. I wear this title because I want others to know my story. I want others to know because I don't want others to endure what I have had to endure over the past 9/10 months.

On June 15, it will be my 9 month check-up anniversary of my first Melanoma surgery. I cannot put into words what this past 9 months have been like. Many who know me know that there is a change, a difference in my step. Some may say that I am preachy about the whole "sunscreen thing". In a heartbeat, I will wear that title proud. I spoke with 2 of my very close friends while they were at the beach today and my first questions was "Are you wearing sunscreen?"( Like I am there Mother or something.) What gives me the right you probably are thinking? What gives me that right is that I have the cancer. The cancer that I never wish on my very worse enemy.

Just today I went to the pool, only for about an hour. I applied sunscreen, SPF 30, when I first got there (only cause I was too lazy to do it before I left the house) and re-applied twice in the 1 hour time frame. Did I need to? No, but should I? Yes.

I am a Melanoma patient trying to learn how to learn how to live in the Florida summer sun all over again. Instead of going out basking all day at the pool with little to no sunscreen on, I go out only an hour at a time, with sunscreen on. Seriously, an hour is just fine for this hot summer Florida weather.

In closing, as usual, sunscreen, SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 whern out for pro-longed time and re-apply often!!!

Happy Summer Sun Time!

"Sunscreen Warning. Fact or Fiction??"

2011-05-25T17:11:00.000-07:00

So long to the 2010-2011 school year. It has been a great year filled with its may usual challenges, ups and downs, and many many surprises. As the school year comes to a close, I am thinking back of how this has been one huge school year for me on a very personal level.

The biggest challenge came with the news of Malignant Melanoma diagnosed early on in the school year. As I blog often about this, it was life changing. Not once have I questioned why. I know that I was careless. I was an avid sun-bather not to mention I would hop in a tanning booth every chance I got. Being diagnosed with this cancer honestly came as no surprise to me.

I want to pause here for a moment and give my "2 cents worth" about this new sunscreen scare. This is only my opinion and probably many others who battle with Melanoma that no matter what these new claims are about sunscreen being dangerous, nothing, and I say NOTHING will change any Melanoma cancer survivors of this one thing. Using sunscreen far out weighs the many painful procedures and surgeries that follow a Melanoma diagnosis. I wish those who make these claims and statements would walk in our cancer shoes for just one day. It makes me sick to see what the minds of some who clearly have no clue say. With that being said, you must do the research and use your own judgement. As for me and my family, we will still use SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 when out at the pool and beach, as yes, we will re-apply every 30 minutes! :)

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T10:20:00.001-07:00

On this Mother's day, I am blessed to have 2 amazing women in my life. My Mom who gave birth to me and raised me. She put up with me and taught me very valuable life skills. She taught me to be the mother I am today. She is an encourager and always there when I need her. My Mom is my best friend.

My Mother-in-law is the mother to my husband. She gave me a very unique gift. The gift of her son. She also is an amazing woman. She also is there for me when I need her and she put up with my bad attitude even though she doesn't have to. I am so honored to have both of these women in my life.

Since this blog was originally designed for my daughter Shelly. I must give her a shout out. She is only 11 years old and wise beyond her years. She amazes me everyday. I love having her for my daughter.

I can't sign off without giving the usual advise not only to Shelly but all who read, sunscreen, sunscreen, and more sunscreen. :)

Choosing joy,

Renee

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month

2011-05-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

It has been over week since my last post due to a minor medical illness unrelated to Melanoma. I'm still dealing with the illness so I will be brief.

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month. The goal of this blog is to keep my friends and family informed of this. Please do a self examination this month especially if have you several moles.If you are married, have your spouse check the places that you cannot see. My first Melanoma was in a part of my body that I never look at!

Most importantly, especially for my sun lovin Florida friends and family, sunscreen, sunscreen and more sunscreen. SPF 15 everyday for daily use and SPF 30 if you are a sun worshipper and reapply every 30 minutes. I cannot stress this enough. I know it's cool to have a tan, but what is not cool is skin cancer. As a matter of fact, it sucks!

Choosing Joy,

Renee

The Shade Tree

2011-04-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

Today I was able to enjoy the afternoon off of work and have lunch with some good friends. We decided since it was a beautiful day that we would go to a place that had waterfront outdoor seating. We all sat down and immediately began adjusting our seating according to where the shade was. Lunch was great with many seating adjustments to keep out of the sun. This reminds me of a few years ago when my family along with another family took a day trip to the Ft. Lauderdale air show. It was a hot May Saturday afternoon and found a perfect spot right underneath a palm tree. We called it the "shade tree" cause every passing hour, we would make "shade adjustments" to keep under the shade tree. By late afternoon we had pretty much move almost 90 degrees and was way off of our original spot. I admit, we had a blast under that shade tree and found much comic relief with every adjustment that we had to make.

The air show concluded and made our way back over to our side of the state. I remembered that evening showering and the water stung my back a bit. After getting out and drying off what I saw completely amazed me. I was lobster red! I mean really red. I couldn't believe that miss-not-care about shade or sunscreen was so red. Sad to admit, I was burned! I think I even got a little sun sick which happened time to time of my pre-melanoma days.

Looking back, I was so dumb. Tan or not tan, shade or no shade, spray tanned or no spray tan, (because I had just gotten a customized spray tan the day before the air show)always wear sunscreen! SPF 15 for daily use and SPF 30 if you are out in the sun and then re-apply every 30 minutes.

He's Alive!

2011-04-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

On this Easter Sunday, I am reminded that the sufferings we go through on this Earth are nothing that is even remotely comparable to what Jesus Christ suffered for me. "He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said." Matthew 28:6

Some of my favorite things

2011-04-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

Some of my tan tricks....

I use Eucerin SPF 15 everyday as moisture.

I love love Jergens Natural Glow!! It also smells great.

I am learning to like Neutrogena build-a-tan. Usually after the second application, it is to dark for my fair complexion.

I really like this product if I am really self-conscious about my glow-in-the-dark legs. Use very sparingly!!! It DOES STAIN!

Taneroxia

2011-04-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

I tanned in a tanning bed or fake baking as I loved to call it since I was 16 years old. I loved to tan. I loved the way and I looked and certainly loved the way I felt after being in the booth or bed. I wish I could explain the high I felt. Almost like endorphins after exercising. I had to be tan, that was it. Tanning was an escape or release. Release of what, I have no idea... The bottom line is I wanted to be something I was not. I'm not going to get into my past, just yet because right now I want to focus on my future. As I continue to right thoughts down and blog about them, I will open up more. For now, I want to leave you with this scripture reference that I wish I had all of those many years ago"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139: 13,14.

Way to Long

2011-04-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

It has been over a year since my last blog. Much has happened. Some for the good and some for the bad. As of today, April 17, 2011, I am going to be starting a new blog. A new focus for Words for my daughter. In September of 2010, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Melanoma. It was a very scarey time in my life as well as the lives of many around me. So, my blog is going to continue to be about Words for my daughter, only now, the words are going to be specifically designed for my daughter Shelly who is the inspiration for the blog. For now, I am going to keep my blog up. During the time, I am going to be reformating my blog as my goal is to market my blog to other cancer survivors of Melanoma. If through this blog will change the habits of one and save only one life, that is all that I can ask for. Choosing Joy, Renee

New Year, New Goals

2010-01-04T14:56:00.000-08:00

It is 2010. I have so many things that I want to accomplish.
1. Become a better picture taker
2. Enjoy life
3. Be joyful in all circumstances
4. Stop, breathe, and take it all in
5. Look at others like Jesus does
6. Have patience

I have so many more things to list......but I don't have all day.

Blogging

2010-01-03T07:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in over a year which is typical for me. I am a very boring person with not much to say.

Well, this is a new year and I'm starting all over again. Let's see how long it lasts this time.......

The Game

2009-01-17T07:30:00.001-08:00

During this past week, our school celebrated Spirit Week. On of those celebrations consisted of a "Powderpuff Football Game". The teams were, 8th and 9th grade girls, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade girls. The winner of that game would play a few select all- knowing faculty members.

As Thursday unfolded, those 8th grade girls thought they were going to talk smack to us all day. So the decision was made that if they beat the older girls, they were going down!

As hoped for (by m.s. faulty) our girls won! That meant game on! We were doing well....as the faculty ladies were holding their own, then from behind..... touchdown for the 8th and 9th graders! that irritated us to no end! We burned inside...Beats those kids! Beat those kids!

Finally...it was my turn to go for the defensive kill! I'm on it, I can see it..one of my 8th grade smack talking girls had the ball....she was going down. I didn't just go for the flag, I went for the whole body. As I grabbed for her, I went down and slip across the end zone totally missing her and another touchdown for those brats! (just kidding). Not only did they win the game, I'm injured limping up the stairs. Limping my way to my office in front of them! The smack got louder, louder, and LOUDER!

As I am typing, still today, I am so sore. The sad thing is that I am so active. How can this be for me? I haven't even been able to bike rider, go out for a walk, and certainly no jogging. What is wrong with me? It is age? Hmmm.......

Another school day, another Junior Lion Game!

2009-01-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

I love coaching the Junior Lions. More importantly, I love Shelly being on the team. Not because I am just her Mom, but because her and all of the girls bring me such joy after a long stress-filled day at work.....

New Camera, more pictures

2009-01-11T17:28:00.001-08:00

These pics are out of order, but you all get the point....

I'm in my jammies, flipping an omelet with my new cookware.The point, check out the new, very short do..
Greg, flipping also. He loves to copy me.

The top part of my hair, the really white looking hair, was totally dead. It looked and felt like straw. The bottom middle section had totally broken off. Pathetic!

It's been too long....

2009-01-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

I've been out of touch with my blogging. I have had quite a bit happen. The biggest thing it that I thought I became a hair stylist and highlighted my own hair to save some money. Yeah right!! I left the color in for to long and I fried my hair! When I thought I was saving money became a very expensive fix. My hair is now as short as it was back before I got married. A long long time ago....

I have before and after pictures, but not downloaded yet.. They will come soon!

I'm lost in reading

2008-12-22T18:15:00.000-08:00

It took me 3 days to complete Redeeming Love. A beautiful love story about God's love, forgiveness, and redemption. Now I have moved on to Dee Henderson's the Negotiator.

I read chapter one and I think that I am having withdrawals of Redeeming Love. I think I need at least a day to let the first book absorb into my little brain.

I am enjoying book reading over going out into the chaos of shopping. Besides we are all done anyway. This is true relaxation at this point. Now if I could get my sleep schedule back to normal....

Yes!!!

2008-12-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas vacation!! Can I get a big sigh of relief! Besides shopping and spending money I don't have, one thing I am determined to do it read. Relax with a cup of Starbucks and float into a good novel. My very good friends or I should say "Sisters" gave me an amazing novel to tackle.

I read the first chapter during lunch and I'm hooked. This book runs right up my alley. The back covers pretty much sums it up "A powerful retelling of the book Hosea, Redeeming Love is a life-changing story of God's unconditional, redemptive, all consuming love."

It is a must read. Ladies, if you get the opportunity or just want to read a good novel to escape from the hustle and bustle, check it out!

Our First Junior Lions Home Game

2008-12-13T12:57:00.001-08:00

I am posting pictures of far away shots since all of my Juniors are under age. I want to respect their parents privacy and yet show off how well they did last night!!

I like this above pictures. Greg was trying to fix the color and somehow messed it up. So he saved it in black and white instead. I think it is a pretty cool looking action shot. That is Shelly on the left just after a toe touch.

These are my girls doing a "Teddy Bear" stunt. They were beautiful.

We are the Lions!

2008-12-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

Isn't she beautiful......

Here we are ladies and friends! At last, the long awaited Cheerleading pictures!! We has so much fun at this photo shoot. I don't know who was more excited, her or I!

I got in trouble with the Hubby!!

2008-12-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

So, as you notice, I tried to change my background, wall , face or whatever you call this Christmas scene. It's only half done because.... my husband got on me about the fact that I was downloading spyware onto my computer. Whatever whatever that means. So, I'm asking for help! Carly, Erin....how did you make your sites look so good? How do I fix mine without downloading spyware?

WordForMyDaughter

2008-12-06T09:37:00.001-08:00

Just joking!

2008-12-06T09:15:00.000-08:00

Over the Thanksgiving break, Shelly practiced almost everyday singing her Romanian Christmas music for her upcoming school chapel. First off, I would like to say that I am biast,and I believe that Shelly has a great singing voice. I love to listen to her sing. So to listen to her practice in Romanian, wow!

So, one night while she was singing in the shower, I recognized a familiar sound. It was Romanian so I couldn't understand it, but it sure sounded familiar. Shelly got out of the shower and I asked her if she was signing Amazing Grace in Romanian. She cheerfully answered, yes! Amazing Grace happens to be one of my most favorite hymns. Ever since we saw the movie Amazing Grace, I gained a whole new respect for the song. So to hear her sing that song, I melted. Tears and all.

Naturally, I would have to go to school the next day and telly everyone just how proud I am of my daughter. Then, I told Mr. G, her teacher. He looked at me funny and said that the class is not learning that song. He said that if she was able to sing it, that would be great.

Later on the way home from school, I asked her to sing it again to me. She wasn't quite sure what I was talking about. She said, " Do you mean that song I made up in the shower?" I'm sure you could imagine my reaction as I was ticked at her! I asked her why she told me that she was singing that song? "Mommy, I was just joking!"

Not a joke to me...... she bursted my "proud" bubble not to mention the embarrassment of having to go to school to tell everyone that she was joking!

Lesson learned, do not gloat, and do not be proud as it always comes back to haunt!

Wow, I'm posting again????

2008-11-29T10:28:00.001-08:00

Ok Girl, here is some pics over this past month...

No explanation needed

flattering......

My honey does a great job!

I just love this picture of us. I am having a good hair day and Greg doesn't look so bad

Getting to know me at Christmas

2008-11-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO THE CHRISTMAS EDITION OF GETTING TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.

1. WRAPPING PAPER OR GIFT BAGS ? wrapping paper even though I suck at wrapping

2. REAL TREE OR ARTIFICIAL ? Fake all the way

3. WHEN DO YOU PUT UP THE TREE? Week of Thanksgiving

4. WHEN DO YOU TAKE THE TREE DOWN? Week after New Year's

5. DO YOU LIKE EGGNOG ? No-Way

6. FAVORITE GIFT RECEIVED AS A CHILD ? Hmmm..

7. HARDEST PERSON TO BUY FOR ? Greg

8. EASIEST PERSON TO BUY FOR ? Shelly

9. DO YOU HAVE A NATIVITY SCENE ? no, does that make me the biggest loser? I always wanted one, but never bought it. So sad...

10. MAIL OR EMAIL CHRISTMAS CARDS ? Mail cards,

11. WORST CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED ? No comment

12. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE ? I love them all

13. WHEN DO YOU START SHOPPING FOR CHRISTMAS ? When I have the time and money

14. HAVE YOU EVER RECYCLED A CHRISTMAS PRESENT ? sad to admit, but yes

15. FAVORITE THING TO EAT AT CHRISTMAS ? Christmas brunch

16. LIGHTS ON TREE ? yes

17. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG ? Little Drummer Boy

18. TRAVEL AT CHRISTMAS OR STAY HOME ? Since moving to Florida, we don't leave at Christmas. We love Florida Christmas

19. CAN YOU NAME ALL OF SANTA'S REINDEER'S ? yes

20. OPEN THE PRESENTS CHRISTMAS EVE OR MORNING ? Christmas Morning!!!

21. MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT THIS TIME OF YEAR ? That it has become politically incorrect to say Merry Christmas

22. FAVORITE ORNAMENT THEME OR COLOR ? No preference

23. FAVORITE FOOD FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER ? Not much since our family tradition is to eat a huge Christmas brunch. Usually we snack the rest of the day.

24. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR ? A digital non-delay camera

25. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO THIS? Carly since I stole this from her

26. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND ?

Emotions

2008-11-28T17:56:00.001-08:00

I usually don't "vent" on a blog but here goes.....I hurt emotionally today. I have cried for most of the day. I absolutely hate to admit this as I am not much of a crier. I am the touch one of the family. Greg cries more than I do. Shhh... don't tell him I said that.

Why am I this way you ask? I had a hurtful conversation with a family member that I adore and love dearly this morning. I feel like I am being left out to dry by this person. Rejection, that describes the conversation. It took until tonight that I realized that this is just a test of my faith. My Heavenly Father, the one who will never ever turn His back on me was rejected. He was made fun of. He was alone. Through my pain today, He reigns. Nothing I will ever go through on this earth will never compare to what He went through. That is today's lesson.

That you my Father, my Redeemer, for loving me, for choosing me when my earthly family does not. I am reminded of this song..yes I am going to share the words which I know is illegal but I am not selling it!!!! This is just a simple reminder for me today as tears stream down my face;

Sometimes Your calling, comes in dream
Sometimes in comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest hope in me
And call out for the things of eternity
But I'm a man (woman), of dust and stains,
You move in me, so I can say
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life,
I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan, Here I am
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that You will finish what You began
And these broken parts
You will redeem Become the song that I can sing
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can
Here I am, all my life an offering to You,
to You Somehow my story is a part of Your plan
Here I am

Thankful

2008-11-26T06:31:00.000-08:00

I am reminded of when Shelly was in kindergarten and her class recited Psalm 100

A Psalm for Thanksgiving.
Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the LORD is good; His loving kindness is everlasting
and His faithfulness to all generations.

There are many things to be thankful for. God is Good!!

I am the King's daughter
I am blessed
I have an amazing family
My husband is a dedicated man and a great father
I have a great mini-me daughter
My health
That I live in sunny Florida
In this touch economic time, both my husband and I have great jobs
For our parents
For the many friends that I have in my life
FBA...FBA
My church
A bold preacher of the Word, My Pastor
Food!!!!

I'm trying Carly.. I'm trying

2008-11-25T10:38:00.000-08:00

So here is the deal, last Thursday was an exciting day for me. Hope and Libby brought their mommies to school to visit us. Seeing those two beauties were the highlight of the week! After having the opportunity of seeing them during lunch, Libby brought her Mommy to my office for a chat. I love talking with her Mommy. Her Mommy has no idea how much I miss her. Not long into our visit, Lib decided she had had enough visiting for the day and wanted out! Nothing her Mommy did worked. So, as I was walking them to the elevator, her Mommy looks at me and said "By the way Renee, those one line blogs with no pictures just don't cut it!" Can you believe she said that to me! Seriously, I'm tearing up, knowing that I have no idea when I will see her again, and those are her last words to me.

Here is the deal....at work, I am computer savoy. I so know what I am doing and with one touch, I can fix a printer (jam), and can help April R. with her print jams. I can walk into a classroom, fix anything ad when I can't Eric is usually a phone call away. I sure love him being at our school.
BUT.... when I am at home on my laptop..... I am computer stupid! I cannot download pictures to this blog without my wonderful husband computer guru Greg. He's the man! He makes me look good on the computer.

With all of that being said, my husband is great at running his business and with his greatness, Shelly and I have learned that we don't get much of his time. He is so busy and working very hard for us right now. So, my blog is placed on the back burner with him. Once Naples Season is over, (in March), he will help me with pictures and all of that jazz.

Love you Carly!! :)

Living in Florida

2008-11-19T12:45:00.001-08:00

I love living here. The beauty of God's glory never ceases to amaze me. I remember when we first moved here almost 6 years ago thinking that I would never like it here. Why would I? It was hot all of the time. The bugs are terrible. The humidity never goes away.

I am happy to report that daily God open my eyes to being here. He placed our family here for His purpose. He is preparing me for what He has planned for me. He is molding and shaping me into His likeness.

On that note, another advantage of living is here getting the small chance of seeing America at it's finest. Last Friday night, the space shuttle launched. Unfortunately, there were far too many trees in our neighborhood for us to view. However, 2 nights ago, Monday evening at exactly 6:30 p.m., I happen to flip the news on and overheard Robert Van Winkle mention that the Space Station was over us at that very moment and that we would catch a glimpse of the shuttle landing on the space station. With all of my might I literally grabbed Shelly off of the couch (in only her under garments) and headed for the door. Can I just say WOW!@ It was the most amazing thing I ever saw in the sky. It was so incredibly bright that it was blinding. It was moving at a pace that you had to continue to adjust your eyes but it was there, plain as the naked eye could see.

Decision Made

2008-11-09T05:59:00.000-08:00

A very good friend of mine talked me into training for the 1/2 marathon coming up in January. Once the commitment was made, fear ran down my spine. Don't you hate when the enemy does that? When those thoughts rush through my mind I simply say "Satan, you are not welcome here!".

Saying Hello

2008-11-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

Just saying hello to all of my friends..... still "Cheering" away in the new season with my girls!!

Still Here....

2008-10-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

I'm still here ladies. Don't give up on me!!!!! Cheerleading season has started and I am trying to learn balance. I will continue to check on all of your blogs......

If I don't blog before next Tuesday.....GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!

News to share

2008-10-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday our wonderful school administrator gave us the day off to rest, spend the day with families, seek the Lord, pray and or fast. This was done as our church came to the conclusion of our Spiritual Renewal Week.

I took the opportunity to take care of my health and go have my labs and some tests run that my doctor had asked me to do about 2 weeks ago. I have been under the weather lately. Which during the school year is nothing unusual for me. I have been unusually tired, and have not been able to just do the normal routine things that Mom's, wives, and mother's usually do. But like I said, this is not new for me.

I had the work up done at 8:30 am. By 2:30 the same afternoon, my doctor's office called me. She said, "Let me start with the good news".... when she said that, I tuned out. I knew it couldn't be good. So, here's the deal..... My white blood county is extremely low.... so low that my immune system is shot. As of now, I can and will catch anything.... any germ, any virus, I can and will get it. We don't know the cause of this. Only to say this, once I was given this news, it was kind of like once you know something, it seems to happen. Do you know what I mean? All of the sudden, everything became very heavy on me. Just to get up and walk around the house took all of me. I was weak and very disoriented. I know that it has everything to do with the unknown.

Here is the bottom line, I need to basically become really good friends with anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. I need to eat immune building foods, greens my husband says. I will go in a month to have more blood work drawn. However, if whatever is going on with me continues, I am to go back in sooner.

Can I handle this? No, but my Lord will take care of me! I just need to remember that He is in control and in my weakness, He is my strength.

Money, Money, Money

2008-10-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, Greg and I decided that we would start paying Shelly an allowance. So yesterday, Greg sat down with her and laid out a plan of action. He actually came up with a pretty cool idea. She was going to have to set up a business. He made her name it, and then yesterday he helped her make a business plan. The both of them came up with "charges" basically how much we were going to pay her for each job that she did for us. He then made up business expenses that she would have to pay back. The final part of this task was the both of them creating invoices that she would give to me.

Wouldn't you know the minute she is done with her plan, she proceeds to want to vacuum, check the mail and then........

Yes.... she decided that she was going to wash Daddy's van. Because the fee for this job is $5.00. Once she got done , she realized that she negotiated to low of a price. To bad........

We will see how this new things works for us.

Calling on all my blogging friends.....

2008-10-06T15:26:00.001-07:00

With the permission of my husband, I am posting 2 pictures of him. With the help of my friends, please vote on the gotee.....

The above pictures is a little distorted, but he has no gotee.. Yes...... or No?

This one was take yesterday. Yes??? No???

Besides our disagreement, doesn't he have the best looking eyes?????

Nothing to Say

2008-09-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing to blog about. My brain is tired. It is Monday evening. Shelly and I had a rough start again this morning. Always on Monday's. Not even Starbucks helps. I am so sleepy but I know that I will not fall right to sleep. My light weight self needs to at least wait until 9:00 pm before I start "tossing and turning" for the evening.

I'm not trying to be the "glass half empty" kind of person tonight. I guess I am not showing my "Joy in the Journey".

I am blessed:

to be in great health
to have a great ministry job where I can bless others and be blessed daily
to have a "healthy" family
to be The King's Daughter (that should have been first)
for my feet
that I know that all of my needs are being provided for (Praise God)
For my Mom who is my hero
For my best friend, my husband
for great friends at work and church

Ok, I'm done with the glass half empty attitude. Thank you Lord~Amen

Another bike ride

2008-09-26T18:30:00.001-07:00

I know I seem to be blogging about the same things over and over but seriously, I'm trying all so bear with me...

Ok, Greg and I went out again tonight on a ride together and I am happy to report that I kept up with him. Right with him, on his tail with him! Now in saying this, I am so sore that I can hardly walk, but it's the weekend. I'll be fine....

"Never"

2008-09-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

I did it again today! I was in a meeting today and caught myself twice saying "never". I am so afraid of this word anymore. It seems as though it always comes back to haunt me! I have become "Never" phobic. Is that is even a word?

Eating Crow

2008-09-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I give credit when credit is due and it saddens me to admit that my husband kicked my behind while biking yesterday. I have no excuses. He is good. he has been practicing and has been riding with a professional biker and it shows. i am so proud of him!

Well done honey!! The challenge is on!

Trying to get "Hip" with the times take 2

2008-09-21T09:15:00.001-07:00

I am really enjoying Facebook! I have now been able to link my blog up to my face page. Love it!!

I admit to be the big fat church skipper this weekend. Was not an intentional thing though. Our vehicle lease was up and we thought we were going to just "look". Well you all know how that goes when you go to just look. 5 1/2 hours later..... we walk out with a new car that we did not expect to leave with.

Then we headed off to see the Dark Knight at the new theater at Coconut Point. Not new to all, but new to us. That theater is beautiful! They have couch chairs! I'm sure that is not the official name for them, but I make up my own names as I go!!

We liked the movie, definitely not for Shelly (unfortunately she was with us though). She covered her ears and eyes for most of the movie.

The reason for blogging about this movie is that as we watched Heath Ledger, my heart ached for him. Such a young life. How sad and depressed he must have been to be so doped up on pills that eventually took his life. He had a bright future. But you all know his future was not in our bright future. His hope was not in our Christ Savior. Heath had talent, but his talent wasn't in Christ did ot include God's talent for him.

I feel for our future young leaders. Look at who they have as role models. I see and hear this everyday in school. Not to mention some of the sights I have seen on Facebook. Way too many of our young kids are being sucked into this dark circle the evil one makes it look so good and alluring. It is our job as educators and parents to stand against this. I know I may be overly opinionated and sometimes very judgemental as I have blogged about earlier but I will not sit quietly about this. Our children are screaming for attention and they will take it from anyone who will listen. Well I'm listening!

Trying to get "hip" with the times

2008-09-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

I have just created a Facebook account and was shocked to find lots of my old classmate. Some of them I would like to reconnect with, some not so much. I am amazed at some of the pictures I found. I can see why this is the new cool thing. I feel young again......

If any of my blogging buddies are on Facebook, please add me as a friend so I am not the only loser on with no friends.....

Never say Never

2008-09-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like God is playing a funny joke on you? Whenever I say never, I can picture my heavenly Father up above smiling down at me, hands nicely folded over and Him shaking His head at me. "Oh dear daughter, why do you say such things?"

Never was my daughter going to sleep in the same bed as me.......she's 9 and she still sleeps with me!

Never would I get my daughter a cell phone at such a young age.....she's 9 and is on her phone all of the time.

The list goes on....

Well tonight, I am at the tanning bed, yes, I fake bake. Most of you know it, so no making fun! There is a mother there in front of me signing her 14 year old daughter up for sessions. This 14 year old girl was stunning. Beautiful skin color. She is too young and far to beautiful to start doing such damage to her skin!!

Here is the deal....I can be very over-opinionated. I think that is really when God teaches me lessons. I am trying real hard not to make a comment here. Please Lord help me, help me not to judge and PLEASE help me not to say the fateful word of _________!!!!!

Being a Mom

2008-09-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget the reason why I started blogging. I wanted an outlet. A place to write things for my daughter. Over the past few months, I have fallen short of this goal, this task that I created for myself.

I am reminded of this because 2 of my blogging buddies finally became Mom's. I think my favorite title in the world is being called "Mom." Even when I hear my name being called repeatedly, over and over. I still love this name.

Now that you ladies now hold this wonderful title, I say cherish this new name of yours. Lavish in it. Not that I want your little girls to grow up, but the first time you are called "Mommy" by that sweet little voice, you will never forget it.

This is probably one of the hardest job titles that us women will ever hold and yet at the same time it is the most rewarding.

Got the coupon clippin bug

2008-09-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

Ok Teri, I'm officially on board with this coupon thing. What became an interest has now possibly become an obsession to the point of pulling out coupons out of my neighbors mailbox. Yes, I will admit it. My neighbors live in St. Louis and we must have a substitute mail person who put weekly coupons in their box. I saw them and yes I took them.

Now that is pretty sad. Can anyone top that?

How Well Do I know my Husband

2008-09-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

No comments needed for this recent shot!

1. They are watching TV..... What are they watching? SportsCenter, Jim Krammer, football. Did I mention it is football season????

2. You're out to eat.what kind of dressing do they get on their salad? Usually he asks for Caesar salad which has Caesar dressing already on it. otherwise, he typically orders whatever dressing I order which is anything that is a light dressing on the menu.

3.What's one food this person doesn't like? Meatloaf

4. You go out for a drink. He/she orders... Currently he orders water with lemon.

5 Where did he/she go to high school? East Moline Christian School

6.What size shoe do they wear? 11

7. If this person were to collect anything, it would be? He collects baseball cards. Old drawing he drew in middle and high school. Anything that has Minnesota Vikings on it is a collector's item in our house.

8.What is their favorite type of car? Ferrari

9. This person could eat __________ everyday? Salmon

10.Favorite cereal? Not a big cereal eater

11. This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing... Anything with Bears on it

12.Favorite sports team? Da Cubs, Minnesota Vikings

13.Who will he/she vote for? McCain/Palin

14.What is their sign? We don't do "astrology signs" around here.

15.What is something you do that he wishes you didn't? Spend so much money

16.How many states has this person lived in?3 Illinois, Iowa, and Florida

17.What is his heritage? He's a Swede in every sense of the way!

18.You bake them a cake for their birthday....What kind do they want? Vanilla cake...usually we make him a cake just so we can just eat it. He's not into eating the cake.

19. Does he/she play sports in high school? Basketball Number #42

20. This person could spend hours.... working in the computer

"Keeping an eye on the Tropics"

2008-09-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

How many times have we heard this statement this summer? Living here for as long as we have, this statement never gets old to me. I love the thrill of hurricane season. I am sometimes memorized to watching The Weather Channel. Jim Cantore has become a very good friend of mine. As I type this, I am watching TWC. I can't get enough. Even after our summer experience with "The Tornado".

I think I just am addicted to the thrill, the anxiousness of wondering, "what is going to happen next?"As of the latest 2:00 pm advisory (9/6/08) the storm path has moved farther west, taken us on the very right edge of the storm path. I certainly do not want anything bad to happen to our town, but at the same time, I'm a little bummed. In all honesty, I was looking forward to another mini vacation!! We definitely wouldn't stick around for this storm so our plan was to head back to Orlando.

Other than the storm, I managed to read one more chapter in my book! Yeah. I am determined to finish that book by the end of this month. The challenge is on.

The other day a couple of you blogged about how well we know our spouses. Stay tuned!! I know Greg like the back of my hand. I'm excited about his one!!

Reading books

2008-09-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

I am officially declaring that I am no longer a book reader. How can I be? I never allow myself the time. I work in education and I cannot finish a book in an appropriate amount of time. I have been reading the same book, Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow since May 24, 2008. I should be done with this book by now.

It is a very good book and I highly recommend it. For all of you who are readers, check it out.

3 day weekend

2008-09-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

I love 3 day weekends during the school year. The thought of 3 days of no work and all play which doesn't happen in our family very often.

We decided to take the opportunity to enjoy our great state of Florida and go to Disney for this long weekend. I wish I was as "blogger" smart as the rest of you to post awesome sights, but my words will have to be enough for now.

What was especially exciting about our trip is that we were meeting up with family members from New Orleans that we haven't seen in 5 years. They left on Thursday morning before the storm under no evacuations and really wasn't sure what the storm was going to do to them. Once we arrived with them on Saturday morning, their area was under the mandatory evacuations. Not to mention while waiting in line for the Peter Pan line, Southwest Airlines called them to cancel their for home for Tuesday. Besides being bummed by the storm, what a great place to be stuck at!! They bought the Disney insurance so Disney will pay them money to stay after Tuesday. Basically, until New Orleans opens back up, they are living off of Disney right now.

All said, besides the minor distraction of constant hurricane updates from our phones, we had a wonderful weekend. All of our Disney dreams came true. I'm not sure who had more fun, the kids, or us adults. Hum???

Waiting in Hope

2008-08-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

One of the things I absolutely hate doing is waiting. I am a "do now" person. Tell me the job and I'll get it done. I am a task manager and I work better under pressure.

The problem with that is sometimes in the midst of my task managing, I miss very important details. Sometimes, I even miss an opportunity to hear from God.

The Hebrew word for wait means to twist or stretch, and includes the idea of tension and enduring. It means to look forward with confident hope that is good and beneficial. Twisting, stretching? Tension? Well all of that is the story of my life!!!

Here is my big realization or the day... If I wait on God with hope I am directly aligning myself and connecting with God. As I type this out, it makes no sense to me and yet at the same time it does. All He wants from me is to quietly wait on Him. Sounds easy, but can I really wait? Can I be quiet while I wait? I am a talk, talk, talker. I love to talk. Once again, with all of my talking I sure do miss that opportunity of hearing from my Maker. Lord, please help me to shut up and listen!!!

Not winning

2008-08-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

As the Greg and Renee competition continues, I will admit to biking with Greg last night and and hard as it is to admit, he beat me. I can make up all of the excuses I can think of, but the bottom line is he is biking more than me and yes, he is looking better than me.

The challenge is still going on. I may be down this week, but I'll be back!!!

Fried but not fired

2008-08-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

I have had so much to blog about over this past week but I have not allowed myself the time to sit and type. Now it is Friday evening and worked a full, very long day, came home and mopped my floors and put in 2 loads of laundry. Now that I am done with all of that, my brain is totally fried and I am at a blank for what to talk about.

Basically, I don't want to be labeled as "fired" again. So, I will blog more later.

"Winning"

2008-08-14T18:22:00.001-07:00

As I wrote about in my last blog, my husband and I are in competition with each other trying to become the "fittest" first. We just can't stop. He and I are to competitive. A couple of nights ago I came up with this lame brain idea to race him through our neighborhood. Since this is my blog, I claim victory to the race. We even made it home in record time traveling 6.5 miles in 20 minutes (by bike).

There is a but to this story. While I bask in my achievement of winning, I must admit that I hurt my legs. I either pulled something or sprain something. So now, miss winner is nursing yet again another sports injury. Two days later, I can't even look at my bike. My legs are just so sore. So tonight Greg decides that he is going on a bike ride and I must resort to walking only 1 mile around the block tonight. As I come back home tonight and pass my bike who is calling my name, I slowly and painfully walk in the door to prepare myself for work tomorrow.

The reason for writing about something so boring is God is so awesome. He reminded me of a very valuable point. There are so many times when I think that I can "go ahead" of God. I say to Him, "Thanks but no thanks. Things are going great right now and I don't need you. I am winning this task right now. I'm glad you are there and I'll let you know when I need you." There is a BIG BUT to this story................ Bottom line................. I can't go ahead of Him. When I do, I hurt myself. Just like I hurt myself when I thought that I was all-that by thinking I was so hip, young, and cool by taking up roller blading. We all know how that turned out. By the way, that young, hip thing costed us $200.00 out of pocket for the fun hospital visit!!

Isn't it great when God says no...what he means is, " Renee, I love you and don't hurt yourself."

"Fired"

2008-08-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

According to my friend Carly (who introduced me to blogging) told me that I was fired because I am not regularly updating anymore. So... to get off of the fired list... this one's for you girl.

I think that in order to blog I must have a big storey to report. I have absolutely nothing to report. Other than school is about to begin and I am missing my old teachers terribly. The new teachers are great, don't get me wrong, but they are not my "old friends". I had a new teacher in my office today and I am not kidding when I say that I spent almost 20 minutes telling her about the former teacher that she replaced.

Besides school starting, everything else is good. My daughter is anxiously (not) awaiting for school to start. It is tough getting her back into the swing of going to bed and getting her up in the morning.

My husband and I are in a competition with each other to see who will become the fittest and who can do it the fastest. Both of us have changed our eating habits and we literally kill each other when we are out jogging, walking, or bike riding. He and I are so competitive that one of us is going to win and since it is my blog, I will be the winner!!

Riding out the storm

2008-08-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today is my official last weekday off for this summer. Summer has flown by with many turns along the way.

I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks. I can make any excuse I want, but the bottom line is, they are all excuses. The last time I blogged we were still in Illinois and typed about our severe weather outbreak that we were in the midst of. On Monday, July 21st at 6:15 am, we were a direct hit of a Derecho storm, which is basically the equivalent of an EF1 Tornado. To be quite honest, I am still in shock of the whole thing ans have a difficult time talking about it. The only thing I could think to say about this experience was it was almost like being outside of the house during Hurricane Wilma. The noise, the sounds were horrible. We were Not in a safe place during the storm. With that being said, God was with us. He was our safe shelter during the storm. He protected us and that is all I can really say.

After the storm has passed, we, the whole town was in complete shock and many faces seemed disoriented. As we traveled touring the damage, the look and sounds were complete devastation. There was no power, and no relief from the heat. But again, God was in control. We were able to seek shelter in another town at my Aunt's house. We were able to shower and prepare for our departure out of town the following day.

As the sun came up on Tuesday morning, Shelly was more than willing to "jump" out of bed knowing that we were on our way home. The airport is only 2 blocks from my Mom's house and the same destruction and devastation that was all through my Mom's neighborhood was the very same at the airport. The airport was running on generator power only with only 2 airline able to fly in and out. Praise God, Delta was one! We sifted through manual check-in and had to go through the "old fashion" way of boarding the plane. I hadn't seen so many happy faces as I did while boarding that plane.

We got home late Tuesday evening and Shelly was lost in her Dad's protecting arms. Once I hit Greg's arm, I collapsed into him. He had never looked more beautiful to me than he did that very moment we made eye contact.

Unfortunately, we left my Mom behind to deal with the clean-up and insurance adjusters. My Mom is such a strong lady. She is classy in every sense of the word. I am so honored to be her daughter. I only hope that one day I will have the same kind of strength as her.

Day 11 of our vacation

2008-07-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

We are now 11 days into our vacation with my Mom in Illinois. Time has flown by so fast. I can't believe it is almost time to pack it back up and go back home.

Being away from Greg this long has been challenging, especially for Shelly. The past couple of nights for us have been rough. She cries herself to sleep and has been having terrible stomach aches. She is ready to go home.

We have found a new discovery on my laptop. I have a new program called SlingPlayer. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a program that reads another computer's cable (if the computer is tied to a cable modem). Here is the cool thing, Shelly and I have been watching our local tv stations. Being so far out of town, my mom only has local stations. No cable. For Shelly, that has been killing her. No Disney. No Cartoon network!! As of last night, we successfully installed the program and we are off and running. Right now as I type, I am watching the Weather Channel (our local weather). How cool is that!

We only have another couple of fun filled days left. Today we are going to some jewelry party. I can't spell it so I won't even try. I guess this is a popular thing to do. Tomorrow we will go to church with mom, then to our uncle's for dinner. Monday my Mom goes back to work so Shelly and I will visit with friends and pack. We went yard saling yesterday and bought so much junk that I have a big box to ship home on Monday. Isn't that sad???? The airlines have restricted so much of what we can pack now. Oh well....

On Vacation

2008-07-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

Shelly and I are on day 2 of our vacation with my Mom. So far our trip has been un-eventful, until today..... About 3:00 pm central time, the tornado sirens went off.

We have lived in Florida now for 5 years. The longer we live in Florida, the more out of tune I become to the mid-west way of life. For instance, tornadoes. Yes, we get them in Florida, but they are different. Wall clouds in Florida don't bother me one bit. Severe weather doesn't bother me nor does the cloud to ground lightening. I can even handle the occasional hurricane threat, but a mid-western tornado, NO-WAY!!!

The minute the sirens went off, my heart hit the floor. I grabbed Shelly and told her to get in the shower now. What was I thinking? Shower?? So, she jumped in the shower crying, scared out of her mind. "Mommy, I don't want to die". I had to pull her out of the shower and made her look eye to eye at me and immediately prayed with her. Once I prayed, I was fine. I was no longer scared. Shelly on the other hand, was in my nieces bedroom packing all of our belongings saying she was ready to go home now.

After I got her ready to go, her and I headed out for a late lunch to a "solid" location. Once the storm passed, we came back to my Mom's trailer.

Now as I type, watching the local news, we have more rough weather on the way. I am making a decision not to say anything to Shelly. We have music on and the little neighbor girl over so hopefully she will be distracted if the siren goes off again.

Tomorrow it is suppose to by mid-west standards be very hot (90 degrees). I think we will go swimming. Hopefully, no bad weather tomorrow.

12 years ago.......

2008-07-06T07:23:00.001-07:00

On this Day, July 6th, 1996, one of the hottest day's of the year in Arkansas, Greg and I wed for better and for worse, through sickness and in health.

I remember like it was yesterday. I woke up that hot Saturday morning so nervous that I couldn't even look at food. I was about to marry the most handsome man with the most beautiful brown eyes and have I told you about his hands? My oh my, I fell in love with those hands. I am not a hand person, but Greg's hands, you have to check them out!

Our vows were simple and yet pure,

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud. it is not rude,

it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4-8a

Happy Birthday America

2008-07-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

"So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free."

John 8:36

I thank God that we live in a free Nation. Though there are many things about our Country and our government that I do not agree with, we are blessed that we can publically speak our mind without fear of torture, jail time or even murder.

Many times I think the Untied States are taken for granted. Sadly, by us, the natural born citizens of this great Nation.

I was just notified the other day that a family from our Church and school have been deported from this great Nation. As the Mother came into my office just yesterday, on the eve of this great holiday, she shared with me her storey of trying to become legal in this Nation. As she spoke, tears streamed from both of us. Just the other day I was all in a wad over something that happened to my daughter. It was so silly and yet I took it so hard and it affected me for 2 days. After listening to this Mother, my pity party was that, pitiful. What was I thinking??

Nothing prepared me for this parent conversation. So today I sit excited about going to the beach to watch the fireworks tonight and waiting patiently for my husband to wake up so we can go off to a 4th party wondering what this family is thinking about this very moment. Country-less, no place to call home.

Wrong choices

2008-07-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today is July 1st. Today is the day that I should be focusing on something I committed to do this month, but as I sit here typing I have a hurt. As a parent, we never want to see our child hurt. I can't even believe that I let my child's hurt fester so deep inside me that I am physically ill today. So much so that I had Taco Bell for lunch and I fell it coming up. I have butterflies in my stomach. This is so silly but it involves my child. I don't want to get into specifics because I have so many people reading this blog so I will try to choose my words carefully.

For months now, my husband and I have had many discussions about the influences around our daughter. By no means are we perfect and there are many times (I am very sad to admit) that Shelly has heard and seen things that we don't want her to see and hear. There is one influence though, that Greg and I struggle with. There is an influence around our daughter that we just can't seem to get away from. This is all I want to say about this.......I ache. For my friends reading this , please please pray for Greg and I as we must come to a decision that might hurt others.

I think the bottom line is Satan is on the attack. I will admit that during the summer months I seem to go through 'The Valley". I am so emotional today that at any minute I will loose it.

On another note.....we had a great "Birthday weekend". My baby girl is officially 9. I am very please to say that she shocked me yesterday by telling me that she wanted her ears pierced. Most of you know her and she is not a girl that handles pain well. So when she told me she wanted it done, I couldn't get the car to the mall fast enough. I was so excited.

I think I am going to take a nap!

Thinking back

2008-06-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

In two days, my baby girl will be 9. It is hard to remember what life was like before her. Many of my friends know our struggles with getting Shelly here. Shelly being here is a total God thing. It all started in 1997 when Greg and I had the aching painful feeling of wanting a baby. Back then I said I walked right with Christ, but in all honestly, I only walked with Him when things went my way.

We tried to months, months led to a year. So I went to see my gynecologist and she referred me to a fertility specialist. After months of tests, it was determined that I could not ovulate. So, the next step was to pump me up full of pills to make me ovulate. In January of 1998 we found out that we were pregnant. Within a month, I was already showing and was very sick. I went in for an ultrasound and found out there were 3 strong heartbeats and possibly had a 4th, but was already dissolved. Immediately we were sent to a high rick specialist. At the time, I was only 90 pounds and was told through ultrasound that I had 1/4 of a cervix, for normal women, a normal cervix should be at least 1 inch of depth. Immediately we were told I would not carry and that I should abort immediately.

Again, my faith wasn't that great but I knew that an abortion was out of the question. So, we went along with the pregnancy knowing that we would not bring our babies home alive. Long about 16 weeks,we found out there were 2 girls and 1 boy, but again, did not plan for them. The more they grew, the more their personalities came out. Baby c, (which we thought was the boy) was so feisty and kicked for space all of the time.

Long about 22 weeks, my problems were getting worse and I was in and out of the hospital that whole week. We found out at that time that there were actually 3 girls and no boy.

Then at 23 weeks, I was rushed to a hospital about a hour 1/2 away because I had twin twin transfusion and I was in the beginning stages of labor and also had a deep uterine infection. I fought with all my might to keep my baby girls in. I was hanging upside down pumped up so full of drugs I don't even recall remembering my name. On June 3rd, 1998, Rose(baby a) died in utero. There was still hope though. They thought she would slide right out and my cervix would close ad I would keep the other 2 girls in for at least 1 more week. Unfortunately, that was not what God had in mind for us.. His plan was so much better, I just chose not to see it at the time.

Then at 5:00 am on June 4th, Racheal and Regan were born both just under 1 pound. I was so doped up on meds that I couldn't handle seeing them. My Mom, Greg, and my mother-in-law all choose to see them. Rose and Racheal looked just like Greg, and Regan looked just liked me (explains the fiestyness early on). By 10:00 am that same morning, I signed myself out and Greg drove me home. I was fine for the first month, but as the months went on, I liked to drink...really really liked to drink. I was drunk all of the time. All the while I was fat, and was so engorged that I had to pump milk everyday. Bitterness turned to anger. The deep rooted anger that became a thorn in our marriage. I hated Greg for seeing the girls. I hated him for betraying me. I hated the fact that he thought it was ok to move on as I was barley keeping up minute by minute. The truth was, I hated myself. I hated the pain that God caused us. Why?? What had I done wrong? I was the perfect pregnant Mom to be. Was this payback for my teenage years?

Through all of my anger and hatred, Greg had left, and I was alone. Where was my God? The truth was, as you already know the answer to this, He was there the whole time. He waited patiently for me to come back to Him. He loved me and wanted me to trust in Him whole-heartily. He wanted me to take delight in Him.

Remember when I said I was fat and still pumping? Also, I was drunk every night.... well on Thanksgiving of that same year, 1998, I was just feeling quite right but figured it was all of the drinking, no biggie. Well, by Christmas, I was back into my maternity clothes, but again just thought it was because of over indulging on the heavy drinks. Went to Target, no big deal.... bought a pregnancy test for no particular reason...for no reason at all, while talking to my Mom on the phone, peed on the stick...yup sure enough, that stick was bright pink before I was done going to the bathroom. Glad I was sitting down, because I would have fainted! I called Greg where he was staying and asked him to come over that I needed to talk to him.

On December 23rd. 1998, it was confirmed that I was pregnant with only 1 baby!!!! We went through pretty much the same routine as before with the exception that we did prepare! We found out that our baby was another girl and her name was going to be Rochelle Anne. We had an amazingly uneventful pregnancy. I got huge, mainly due to just coming off of a pregnancy. We figured I because pregnant within 6 weeks after having the girls. I had testing done on her because of all of my drinking and praise God she was totally a healthy baby.

Due to my cervical problems, we decided that I would need to deliver once she got to 5 pounds which was at 36 weeks. Everything was set to go for a June 25th delivery date.

We checked in on the morning of June 25th with all of our family and got word that I had group A strep and that Rochelle's lungs had been compromised. We needed to put me on bed rest and keep her in for as long as possible. They sent me home and by that night, I was in full labor with my water leaking all over the place. So, off we went.....

Rochelle was born at 5:04 om on June 26th weighting a tiny 5'10 and was very sick. Praise God that I had to idea how serious she was. She had an infection that threw her into respiratory distress and a blood disorder equivalent to Sickle Cell Anemia. That's right!!! With no African American heritage in us at all. I had no idea how sick she was and how close we came to loosing her. I believe God protected me from all of that. It was a long road for our girl. I was allowed to see her the next morning and the minute I saw her, the nurse said you must be Shelly's parents!! We were never going to call her Shelly. Never say never...God always has something else in mind when we say never. She was so tiny, so sick, and so beautiful. She looked just like her daddy. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.

On July 19th, little Shelly came home with us!!! She has no lasting effects of her trauma and the Anemia disorder is poof. A total God thing. All gone!!!

Our tiny little girl is now 4'9, almost 80 pounds. You would never know her history.

I don't know if I was meant to be her Mom but I know she was meant to be in my life. Shelly is the image of Christ. She loves God with all of her little heart. Sad to say, she knows way more than I do about the bible. She was born to Glorify God and bring others to His Kingdom.

Thank you Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you for Shelly. I pray that I continue to raise her the way You would have me raise her. She is yours.

Driving

2008-06-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

One thing I took for granted before my tailbone incident was driving.... (also bending over, but that is another storey.) Greg MADE me drive the other day because he is leaving town this week and he wants me to be abe to move while is is away. So.....against my will and judgement, I drove like a little old lady to the mall. I did fine while driving but are any of you aware of the muscles used while driving. Remember guys, I am pretty physically fit and active, but driving with a sore bottom is torture!! My right leg was so sore that I did not have fun at the mall! In order for me to get back in the car, I had to plant my bottom in the passenger side and refuse to move.
We got home and I was so sleepy and sore. I couldn't even go to church last night. Yes, I was the big fat skipper. Now today, is a very lazy Sunday. Greg leaves in the morning which I am sad about. He will only be gone for two days, but he doesn't go away very often. Who will listen to me whine???

The great thing about being home this past week was catching up on my Racheal Ray recipes. I have a stock pile of recipes. Too bad I am not into cooking. I will one day......

Just reading...

2008-06-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

I get so excited when I get on Blogger.com and read all of my friends new postings. All of my friends have new updates and I enjoy reading them all. I am encouraged by what they write. My friend Teri has wonderful news for us that had God's work written all over it. Do we serve an awesome God or what???

I am on day 3 of my teenage fall. I got up, put makeup on, fixed my hair and ventured out again today. Slowly, step by step, I am moving around. Against doctors orders, I drove to Publix today (only 2 miles away). I was in pain, but praise God that my daughter went with me and she is such an encouragement. Her birthday is next week and I am getting nervous because we are hosting 8 girls for an American Idol party.We have lots to do including cleaning our home.

I mentioned in a previous post that I was reading Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow. This weeks lesson focused on bowing my words to Christ. "Do not grieve and sadden the Holy Spirit by my rotten garbage talk." This is much easier said than done. My challenge for the week is to encourage the people closest to me with encouraging words. I am to bathe then in encouragement all week. I am replacing all of the nasty things I would want to say with all positive words. I tell you what, Greg thinks it is the medicine talking. He's not sure what is going on. This is very difficult for me since I am a "glass half empty kind of person." Every time I replace a negative with a positive, I know I am pleasing God.

My key verse for the week comes from James 3:9-10 With the tongue I praise my Lord and Father, and with it I curse me, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing, this should not be.

Day Two

2008-06-19T12:29:00.000-07:00

Today is day two of my "teenage incident" I have had natural childbirth, a cesarean birth and a hysterectomy. All three of which are painful, but nothing, nothing compares to a tailbone injury. I can't Even sit on the toilet without moaning in pain. I feel like such a baby. In my last post I said that I use to think that I tolerated pain, well that is all out of the window.

I finally got out of bed to take a shower this morning. Greg and Shelly were so ready for me to clean up. Once I was in, I didn't want to get out. The warm water running down my back felt so wonderful. I also fixed my hair and put a little makeup on.

My wonderful mother-in-law picked Shelly and I up and took us to lunch and than we did a little shopping. Just in a short time I was done, exhausted. As my mother-in-law drove us back home, it was all I could do to hold my eyes open.

I just took my meds and I am off to bed!!! Yeah.....

Summer Fun

2008-06-18T16:42:00.001-07:00

The hospital is loving the Wexell's this summer. We have been on summer vacation for less than a month and we have already spent two nights in the ER. The first time was few weeks ago when Shelly got stung by a caterpillar. Apparently there are poisonous caterpillars that sting in Florida. Her hands turned bright red and swelled up. So, that was our first adventure of the summer season. To this day, she is still having some slight problems from the sting. She still has vomiting tendencies, (not sure why) could be anxiety.
Then last night I thought I was going to be a super rollerblader and took off down the street. I made it four houses down before I went down. I fell right on my bottom and was unable to move. I prayed" Ok Lord, it is just you and I , please get me home" and I crawled my way home. I called my husband and then went our second adventure to the hospital. I felt like an idiot. Praise God that I didn't break any bones. My tailbone is bruised up and the Er doc sent my scans to a bone specialist just to be sure he didn't miss anything. So here while typing, I lay on my stomach in massive pain. I am unable to walk or sit. Honestly, the older I get, the less tolerable to pain I become. Anytime I move around the bed, I whimper like a newborn baby. I know Greg is just holding it all in, just waiting for this to be over so he can belt out in laughter. I just know I will not hear the end of this from him. I am eagerly awaiting the jokes once I am better.

Through all of our family fun, I praise God during this time. It could be worse, it could be in school season and just think of all the time I would be off!!!

Finally

2008-06-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

It has been 2 months since my last update. I always let the end of the school year get the best of my emotions, actions, thoughts, and all of my energy. I did however, accomplish one big thing since my last update, I finished reading "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. Only took me one year to complete. What a read. A dear friend of mine encouraged me to read it and not only read it, but study the words. She sent me a quote well over a year ago that came straight out of the book....

I am here....(in this job, in this family, in this circumstance.....)

By God's appointment

In His keeping

Under His training

For His time

So I will trust Him as the Blessed Controller of all things and I will.......

Follow Him endlessly

Love Him passionately

Believe Him tenaciously

After finishing the book, I am now on to "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul", also by Linda Dillow. So far, it is a great read.

On to other summer news, a very dear friend of mine who inspired me to blog has moved away. We certainly by no mean were best friends, but she is someone special to me. Her smile and laughter was contagious. She did the best impressions. There were times she had us laughing so hard at lunch that I would sometimes have tears running down my face. She is the second person I did a 30 prayer vigil for. My heart ached on our last working day together. God is good.....her husband now has a great job and she is much closer to her Mom as she anticipates her late summer delivery of her baby girl. I am looking forward to all of those updates girl...keep um coming.

Finally, Shelly and I are looking forward to our summer trip up north. It was a sudden decision as we were not going to leave the state for the summer due to high gas prices. That all changed one night as Greg, Shelly and I watched the movie "P.S. I Love You." This movie was very personal to me as it was about a husband and wife madly in love with one another. Then the next scene of the movie, he was gone. Dead of a brain tumor. It went all down hill from there. The things that the wife did( I can't remember her name) were what my Mom did after my Dad died. Seriously, I don't remember much of the move because I cried the whole time. This movie mirrored my Mom. So... this is the reason for needing to go be with her. I miss my Mom terribly. Words cannot describe the pain of living hundreds of miles away from her. I am so excited to be going up to Illinois to visit her.

There's Something

2008-04-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite things to do is go watch the sunset. Most of the time we go to the beach to walk. But there are a few moments when I like to be alone and stand in awe of God's faithfulness.

While living in Iowa, I cherished my morning sunrise walks. At 5:15 I would be out the door to watch the glorious sunrise. When Greg moved us to Florida, besides missing my family terribly, I felt robbed. In my mind, at that stage of my walk with Christ, those morning walks were my time alone with God. As many know me, change is not in my vocabulary, so the thought of walking any other time of day was out of the question.

It took several months for me to see God had a hand in our transition. I began walking at night. Not once did I think of opening my eyes to see all of Naples beauty. Until...... one late evening at the beach. While sitting in my car, crying my eyes out I heard the waves crashing against the shore. I listened and heard God speak. "I'm hear, I'm waiting on you." I got out of the car and saw the most spectacular sunset, far more beautiful that any sunrise I saw in the Midwest.

From that day forward, I knew I was home. I knew I was where God wanted our family to be. Now, my evening walks are well spent with God. He meets me faithfully every evening.

I am reminded of a song by Ten Shekel Shirt

"There's something about the ocean Makes me rise up and praise

There's something about the heavens Makes me stand in awe again

There's something about the sunrise Reminds me of Your faithfulness

There's something about the ocean (Your presence) And I'm lost in love again "

When I am alone, or feel discouragement I am simply reminded of this chorus and always know that my Maker faithfully loves me.

"I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." Psalm 89:2

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

"He is not here; he has risen!" Luke 24:6

Such wonderful words to say. Our Lord and Savior, not dead, but much alive.

It is hard to comprehend that He died for me. A sinner, a liar, a cheat, a thief....guilty as charged. Though I am all of those things, He paid my debt. I am now free. Free to live, free to love. All because Jesus chose me. He hand picked and and said, "Renee you are now mine forever." Amen!

For the first time, we hosted Easter dinner at our home. We had all of the fixins'. We had a great family day and finished the day off with a family game of racquetball and a bike ride. We had to work off what we ate somehow!! Shelly had so much fun chasing those blue balls off of the court. She would come back on the court only to run back out to find another one we hit. Fun times...

One year ago

2008-03-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

March 10, 2007~ one year ago today, my daughter stood in front of a packed church audience and professed her faith and was baptized. What a glorious day.

Since that day, Shelly's faith never ceases to amaze me. She has the Innocent child like faith. She shows no fear in telling others that she loves Jesus.

On days when my faith wavers, her faith stands strong and encourages me. Over and over again, God blesses me daily by her life.

With all that God had given us , what can we give to God?

"Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker, for he is our God..." Psalm 95:6-7

Just listen

2008-02-27T17:49:00.000-08:00

On our way to School this morning, my daughter and I were having a discussion about North, East, South, and West. After I thought I did a fabulous job of explaining, she very matter-of-factly told me that I didn’t under what she was saying. I asked her to explain to me exactly what she wants to know about direction. She used points of interest as Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale the Keys (since we live in Florida.) So I again explained that Orlando was North, Ft. Lauderdale was east, The Keys are south, and The Gulf was west. After having a 10 minute discussion about this, I told her that when we got home tonight that I would Google map it for her (her and I are both visual learners).
As I think about our discussion, I am reminded of how many times I question God when he tells me something. Proverbs 2:1-2 says “My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune in your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.”
Am I really listening to God? Who am I to think I know more than He. I ask through prayer and He faithfully answers, but do I faithfully listen?
Just as my daughter told me that basically I was wrong, I do he same thing to my Heavenly Father. As much as I desire for her to quiet her voice and listen to me, My Father does the same to me.

Thank you Father for loving me enough to use my daughter to get your point across to me.

Help me Lord!

2008-02-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

Today's devotion comes from Psalm 119:116~ "LORD sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed."

As I think about this devotion, I am reminded that no matter what season I am in or what the circumstance may be, He is always leading and guiding me no matter what. Looking back through my life, terrible things happened. Many things that were beyond my control. But the Lord knew that it was going to happen and he knew the effect it would have on my future.

For many years I was foolish enough to blame God. God didn't promise that my life would be full of roses. He promised that he would help me, protect me in the end. What may have happened may have hurt me physically and at the time may have crushed my spirit. God knew what was going to happen and he even knew that it would be hard to go through, but he also knew what kind of woman I was going to become.

In the end, I am still breathing and I am still praising God. He restores to me the joy of His salvation daily.