"Holy Clinging"

Today I was on the telephone with my mother-in-law discussing my day and talking about my progression of this most recent "medical distraction." We discussed my upcoming follow up appointment tomorrow and all that is to follow. We discussed weather I should drive alone or if she should go with. Whether we should eat before, basically all of the fun little details. At the end of the conversation, I reminded her that I had my nine month Melanoma check up next week. She then asked if she should go with and I told her no, that I thought all would be well.

Actually, this is usually the time when I begin the self diagnosis process. Let me first clarify that I am always constantly checking and monitoring my moles. I have so many of them that it is no exaggeration to say that I am a walking mole. so when I say the self diagnosis process, I mean that I think all of my moles are Melanoma. While talking with my mother in law, I was thinking that. After hanging up with her, I was gently reminded of Psalm 63 "The Psalm of Holy Clinging".

I don't know how many actually read my blog, but those who do, do you know David from the Bible? If you do, what comes to your mind when you think of him? The first thing that comes to my mind is that he was a man after God's own heart. Isn't that awesome? How cool if after I die that I am described as a woman after God's heart. David was a sinner in the worst way, but make no mistake, he loved God with all of his heart, with all of his mind, and with all of his soul.

David wrote Psalm 63 because he needed to cling to God. Through his writings, his attitude began to change. Through his attitude change, he began the clinging process.

1. He longed for God

2. He found satisfaction in God

3. He had an intimate friendship with God

4. He had a desperate dependence on God.

How different would your life, would my life be if my attitude changed on those 4 attributes alone. If only, instead of me self diagnosing and thinking about the fact that I could possibly die from this cancer, instead, I would cling to the dependence of God. If only, instead of feeling the need to pick up the phone in a panic state and scare my Mom 1300 miles away who really can't do a thing about it, if only, I would desperately depend on God instead. If only, instead of going and feeling the need to spend money I didn't have today but instead found total satisfaction of God. If only, how different my life would be. If only, how much more of an impact for the Kingdom I could be.

If only, I didn't feel the need to think I was ugly having what I thought was pasty white skin and felt the need to jump in a tanning bed every single day in my 20's, instead longed to just be for my Maker.....

SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 when outdoors and seriously, re-apply every 30 minutes!! No joke, I got a little pink the other day! My derm is going to love me on Wednesday!!

Summertime=Summer Sun

I am a Melanoma cancer patient/survivor. I wear this title proud. I wear this title because I want others to know my story. I want others to know because I don't want others to endure what I have had to endure over the past 9/10 months.

On June 15, it will be my 9 month check-up anniversary of my first Melanoma surgery. I cannot put into words what this past 9 months have been like. Many who know me know that there is a change, a difference in my step. Some may say that I am preachy about the whole "sunscreen thing". In a heartbeat, I will wear that title proud. I spoke with 2 of my very close friends while they were at the beach today and my first questions was "Are you wearing sunscreen?"( Like I am there Mother or something.) What gives me the right you probably are thinking? What gives me that right is that I have the cancer. The cancer that I never wish on my very worse enemy.

Just today I went to the pool, only for about an hour. I applied sunscreen, SPF 30, when I first got there (only cause I was too lazy to do it before I left the house) and re-applied twice in the 1 hour time frame. Did I need to? No, but should I? Yes.

I am a Melanoma patient trying to learn how to learn how to live in the Florida summer sun all over again. Instead of going out basking all day at the pool with little to no sunscreen on, I go out only an hour at a time, with sunscreen on. Seriously, an hour is just fine for this hot summer Florida weather.

In closing, as usual, sunscreen, SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 whern out for pro-longed time and re-apply often!!!

Happy Summer Sun Time!

"Sunscreen Warning. Fact or Fiction??"

So long to the 2010-2011 school year. It has been a great year filled with its may usual challenges, ups and downs, and many many surprises. As the school year comes to a close, I am thinking back of how this has been one huge school year for me on a very personal level.

The biggest challenge came with the news of Malignant Melanoma diagnosed early on in the school year. As I blog often about this, it was life changing. Not once have I questioned why. I know that I was careless. I was an avid sun-bather not to mention I would hop in a tanning booth every chance I got. Being diagnosed with this cancer honestly came as no surprise to me.

I want to pause here for a moment and give my "2 cents worth" about this new sunscreen scare. This is only my opinion and probably many others who battle with Melanoma that no matter what these new claims are about sunscreen being dangerous, nothing, and I say NOTHING will change any Melanoma cancer survivors of this one thing. Using sunscreen far out weighs the many painful procedures and surgeries that follow a Melanoma diagnosis. I wish those who make these claims and statements would walk in our cancer shoes for just one day. It makes me sick to see what the minds of some who clearly have no clue say. With that being said, you must do the research and use your own judgement. As for me and my family, we will still use SPF 15 daily and SPF 30 when out at the pool and beach, as yes, we will re-apply every 30 minutes! :)

Mother's Day

On this Mother's day, I am blessed to have 2 amazing women in my life. My Mom who gave birth to me and raised me. She put up with me and taught me very valuable life skills. She taught me to be the mother I am today. She is an encourager and always there when I need her. My Mom is my best friend.

My Mother-in-law is the mother to my husband. She gave me a very unique gift. The gift of her son. She also is an amazing woman. She also is there for me when I need her and she put up with my bad attitude even though she doesn't have to. I am so honored to have both of these women in my life.

Since this blog was originally designed for my daughter Shelly. I must give her a shout out. She is only 11 years old and wise beyond her years. She amazes me everyday. I love having her for my daughter.

I can't sign off without giving the usual advise not only to Shelly but all who read, sunscreen, sunscreen, and more sunscreen. :)

Choosing joy,

Renee

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month

It has been over week since my last post due to a minor medical illness unrelated to Melanoma. I'm still dealing with the illness so I will be brief.

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month. The goal of this blog is to keep my friends and family informed of this. Please do a self examination this month especially if have you several moles.If you are married, have your spouse check the places that you cannot see. My first Melanoma was in a part of my body that I never look at!

Most importantly, especially for my sun lovin Florida friends and family, sunscreen, sunscreen and more sunscreen. SPF 15 everyday for daily use and SPF 30 if you are a sun worshipper and reapply every 30 minutes. I cannot stress this enough. I know it's cool to have a tan, but what is not cool is skin cancer. As a matter of fact, it sucks!

Choosing Joy,

Renee

The Shade Tree

Today I was able to enjoy the afternoon off of work and have lunch with some good friends. We decided since it was a beautiful day that we would go to a place that had waterfront outdoor seating. We all sat down and immediately began adjusting our seating according to where the shade was. Lunch was great with many seating adjustments to keep out of the sun. This reminds me of a few years ago when my family along with another family took a day trip to the Ft. Lauderdale air show. It was a hot May Saturday afternoon and found a perfect spot right underneath a palm tree. We called it the "shade tree" cause every passing hour, we would make "shade adjustments" to keep under the shade tree. By late afternoon we had pretty much move almost 90 degrees and was way off of our original spot. I admit, we had a blast under that shade tree and found much comic relief with every adjustment that we had to make.

The air show concluded and made our way back over to our side of the state. I remembered that evening showering and the water stung my back a bit. After getting out and drying off what I saw completely amazed me. I was lobster red! I mean really red. I couldn't believe that miss-not-care about shade or sunscreen was so red. Sad to admit, I was burned! I think I even got a little sun sick which happened time to time of my pre-melanoma days.

Looking back, I was so dumb. Tan or not tan, shade or no shade, spray tanned or no spray tan, (because I had just gotten a customized spray tan the day before the air show)always wear sunscreen! SPF 15 for daily use and SPF 30 if you are out in the sun and then re-apply every 30 minutes.

He's Alive!

On this Easter Sunday, I am reminded that the sufferings we go through on this Earth are nothing that is even remotely comparable to what Jesus Christ suffered for me. "He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said." Matthew 28:6

Some of my favorite things

Some of my tan tricks....

I use Eucerin SPF 15 everyday as moisture.

I love love Jergens Natural Glow!! It also smells great.

I am learning to like Neutrogena build-a-tan. Usually after the second application, it is to dark for my fair complexion.

I really like this product if I am really self-conscious about my glow-in-the-dark legs. Use very sparingly!!! It DOES STAIN!

Taneroxia

I tanned in a tanning bed or fake baking as I loved to call it since I was 16 years old. I loved to tan. I loved the way and I looked and certainly loved the way I felt after being in the booth or bed. I wish I could explain the high I felt. Almost like endorphins after exercising. I had to be tan, that was it. Tanning was an escape or release. Release of what, I have no idea... The bottom line is I wanted to be something I was not. I'm not going to get into my past, just yet because right now I want to focus on my future. As I continue to right thoughts down and blog about them, I will open up more. For now, I want to leave you with this scripture reference that I wish I had all of those many years ago"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139: 13,14.

Way to Long

It has been over a year since my last blog. Much has happened. Some for the good and some for the bad. As of today, April 17, 2011, I am going to be starting a new blog. A new focus for Words for my daughter. In September of 2010, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Melanoma. It was a very scarey time in my life as well as the lives of many around me. So, my blog is going to continue to be about Words for my daughter, only now, the words are going to be specifically designed for my daughter Shelly who is the inspiration for the blog. For now, I am going to keep my blog up. During the time, I am going to be reformating my blog as my goal is to market my blog to other cancer survivors of Melanoma. If through this blog will change the habits of one and save only one life, that is all that I can ask for. Choosing Joy, Renee